Thursday, April 30, 2009


In lieu of an actualy post, and to take a brief intermission from my fellowship drama, here are some trivial facts about Clio Bluestocking:

1) Peanuts and Clio are beans. (So, am I a cannibal if I eat peanut butter?)
2) If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Clio would be as small as a pea. (Aww!)
3) Clio is worth her weight in gold - literally. (A good reason to gain weight.)
4) All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to Clio! (Then, they must be bright pink or purple.)
5) The National Heart Foundation recommends eating Clio at least three times a week. (Yeah, I'm low in cholesterol, but I'm a little bitter.)
6) Clio once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest! (It was the mustache.)
7) The pupil of an octopus's eye is shaped like Clio. (Cool!)
8) The patron saint of Clio is Saint Eugenie. (Called to help souls in purgatory and patron of people rejected from religious orders -- so, a saint of rejection and the not-quite-damned. Yeah, I can see it.)
9) There are 336 dimples on Clio. (All on her rear.)
10) Clio can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant. (I have no response to this.)

I would list all of the people who have done this before me, but that would take too long since there are so many. Generator found here.

P.S. Please disregard any truly outlandish, incomprehensible comments or posts from me in the next 48 hours. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out in the morning, and have no experience with the laughing gas. This should be fun!


dykewife said...

oh my!!! good luck with the tooth extractions. remember, rest is a good thing. stock up on puddings, jello, and other soft foods.

Ink said...

I love the octopus one. And good luck with your wisdom teeth experience!!

Ann said...

You'll feel better once the teeth are out. They just make trouble for you as you get older. (Or so I hear!)

Eugenie has only been beatified, so can she really be called "Saint Eugenie?" (My bet is that there aren't all that many people rejected from religious orders these days--they're looking for warm bodies, so it may be a while before Eugenie gets the final call from Rome.)

Belle said...

Laughing gas always loosens my creativity muse - I come up with the best fiction then. Then, they turn up the oxygen and I'm left with remnants of great stuff that make little sense. Enjoy it, and breathe deeply.

That oxygen is a real downer.

Clio Bluestocking said...

Dykewife: I completely forgot about that! Thank you for reminding me. I ran over to the grocery store while my prescription was being filled and stocked up!

Ink: It is oddly fascinating, isn't it.

Ann: Not even quite a saint -- she fits even more. What do you call a beatified person: Beatified Eugenie?

Belle: That creativity muse is a taunting one, isn't she? She didn't show up while I was under. I tried to invoke her but just kept thinking, "ahhh, nothing matters, everything is fine, grooooovy!" Damn that oxygen!

The whole procedure went fine and quickly. All three teeth came out whole in less than five minutes. Sadly, they no longer let you take the teeth home since they are classified as "medical waste." Instead of the tooth fairy, I got her bad girl cousin, the Vicodin Fairy. Whoooo!

Ink said...

So glad it went well. Hope you continue to feel better by the hour...

And I'd take the Vicodin Fairy over the Tooth Fairy ANY day! ;)

stumptown said...

Clio I'm sorry this is going on. After 20 years in a history museum I am amazed at the lack of curiosity on the part of staff and the superficial presentation of information. The curators can't engage you in a discussion because they don't have the smarts. Museum folk asking for feedback is like asking a friend if your rear looks big in a new dress. Take it like a man--blame them and forget about it. You're gold- walk on.

Clio Bluestocking said...

Stumptown, welcome and thank you. I like the "does my butt look big in this dress" analogy. I also like to think thta the curators did have the smarts, but that they just showed up completely unprepared because we weren't that important to them.

profacero said...

I like this:

1. Three seagulls flying overhead are a warning that Professor Zero is near.
2. Professor Zero is the world's largest rodent.
3. Professor Zero can be very poisonous if injected intravenously.
4. The only Englishman to become Professor Zero was Nicholas Breakspear, who was Professor Zero from 1154 to 1159.
5. The average duration of sexual intercourse for Professor Zero is two minutes.
6. Without Professor Zero, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.
7. Professor Zero is black with white stripes, not white with black stripes.
8. Women shoplift four times more frequently than Professor Zero.
9. Professor Zero has 118 ridges around the edge.
10. Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Professor Zero in your ear 700 times.

Clio Bluestocking said...

Profacero, that is hilarious! I especially like the seagulls. So portentious.


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