Saturday, January 09, 2010

Be Gone!

Also in the service of selling myself TALL, I have devised a new way to deal with the silly things that make me angry and cause that drift that I wrote of yesterday.

Perhaps you know of some of these silly things? Perhaps some are familiar to you? Things like idiots who comment on newspaper articles, particularly those in the Chronicle of Higher Education or Inside Higher Education. Some commenters prove the saying that you should never argue with a fool because people might not be able to tell the difference. I get so worked up reading those things, and that is just a waste of energy. Heck, sometimes the very articles themselves are wasted energy.

Things like the Center for Teaching and Learning courses. The ones that, if taken collectively seem to say, "whatever you are doing, it is wrong; and if you change it, you are still wrong; and if you do it the way that we are telling you to do it, we will tell you that you are wrong next week."

Things like dumbass t.v. commercials, and dumbass commentators, and dumbass columns in the New York Times or wherever else.

Things like idiot fellowship coordinators and their ilk who need to feel important by crushing down others, no matter how foolish or nasty they make themselves in the process.

I could go on and on. Indeed, often I do. I am easily irritated, especially if I haven't eaten in a while or had my coffee for the day. All of this irritation just saps my energy and my spirit.

My solution is to say, "Dumbass, be gone!" Or even "Jackass, be gone!" I'll have a little hand motion for it, too. I'll hold my hand up in the "talk to the hand" gesture to say "dumbass!" Then, I will make a whisking away motion that ends in a point or an indication toward elsewhere to say "be gone!" Of course I will say all of this in an imperious voice, like James Earl Jones, and with a slightly British accent, like a trained Shakespearean actor, and maybe the hint of an echo, just for effect.

"Dumbahss! Be gahwn!"

Hand, whisk.


dykewife said...

heh...i do that kind of thing at work once in a while, but only in jest. for others i ask myself if it's my stuff of their's. it's nearly always their's and i can let it go...most of the time. sometimes it takes somewhat longer than that. eventually i'm able to let things go.

Belle said...

Ah... I think I may use the gesture and just think the DBG. That way I get to be rid of them and don't even have to waste my breath.

You have the best ideas.

Notorious Ph.D. said...

I somehow missed this post the first time around. It's great. I may steal the idea for my own use. Even if I only do it in my own head, it will help cut the dumbasses down to size.


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