About to Be On

Thank you everyone for your supporting comments to my last post. Seriously, I was sitting here freaking out, and your kind words and advice were all well received and appreciated.

So, here is the rest of the story.

I called Monday to get the doctor to release the refills. My last post may not have been clear on this, but I had seen the doctor in May, before I left for my summer destinations, and the doctor gave me a prescription for two months worth of Happy Pills and Energy Pills. I still had a month left (I'm not sure how, possibly from a build-up of appointments being less than 30 days apart) from the prior visit, so, at the pharmacy later that day, I picked up the remaining refill from the previous prescription and had them put the two new ones on file. The insurance company won't cover more than one month's worth at a time, so I didn't try to get all three filled at once.

Last week, I went in to get refill #2. That was was when the pharmacy here said that the pharmacy back home said that the other two refills were expired. How does that happen? I mean, it wasn't as if I let months elapse or anything. I was a little behind schedule, but on schedule nonetheless. Anyway, the pharmacy called the doctor's office, and the doctor said I had to have an appointment before she would authorize the refills.

First, I have an appointment for when I return -- or did. Second, she already authorized these. I'm entitled to them by the rules of prescribing and whatnot. I'm not scamming her for more pills, these pills really only work if you need them so I'm not trying to get high, and I do need them, which means I'm not going to be out there selling them on the streets.

All of this tells me that the attention to detail is, as usual, lax because my chart should show that all is operating as it should, except that the pharmacy won't fill the already-prescribed prescriptions without a call from the doctor. Maybe I don't understand some of the procedure here, or am missing something that I inadvertently did wrong; but, if I am, shouldn't they at least return my calls to let me know?

Ah, yes: The calls! I called on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and today. I didn't call on Tuesday because I was afraid to get them angry at me for being a pest. I also always waited until afternoon, and made sure I had my sweet, supplicant, "I'm so sorry for bothering you because I know that you are so busy but could you be troubled" (to do your fucking job) face on. After all, they control the flow of the medicine.

Every day, the same message: "This is my name. This is my phone number. This is the pharmacy's phone number. I have an appointment for this day. I'm out of town. These have already been prescribed, the pharmacy wants approval to fill them. I called yesterday/yesterday and the day before/yesterday, the day before, and Monday. My prescriptions are Happy Pills and Energy Pills. No, I don't know the dosage, but this should be on file. All of this should be on file. I'm having withdrawal symptoms this is becoming urgent."

Maybe tears would have made my point quicker, or perhaps the terms "suicidal ideation." Sure, that last is playing down, dirty and dangerous by lying; but what if I was? Thank heavens I'm just a garden-variety depressive. What the hell does a person have to do to get their damn doctor to return a call -- a doctor who is supposed to be so concerned about monitoring patients?
At which point, taken in whole with my prior experiences with similar doctors, I realized that their business is -- or no longer can be, I'm not sure which -- monitoring patients on the drugs so much as monitoring the distribution of the drugs. What I'm on, how much, and why -- as well as my last and next appointments -- is all on file, but all of that is beside the point of making sure that I don't get more than I am entitled to. I get this. It's serious business. Still, even if I was a drug-seeker, shouldn't the doctor have a little more of a grasp of what is going on with my case? It is, after all, on paper somewhere within 100 feet of the phone.

Anyway, I called this afternoon, leaving about 20 -22 hours between my last call and this. I admit to being a tad grouchy by pointing out that this is the fourth time I've called this week and that I had given all of this information already.

At this point, I almost started seeing this as a game: how long will this drag out? How ridiculous will this become?

Then, I called my G.P. and made an appointment with her on my return. She can either refer me to another Happy Pill doctor, or she can prescribe them herself. Whichever, as long as I can get them, can have someone to consult if something seems to be going wrong with them, and can expect my phone calls to be returned. I mean, damn!

I also contemplated the suggestions to go to a walk-in clinic. Even if they told me that they couldn't prescribe something that they weren't able to monitor, even if they didn't take my insurance, it would still beat sitting around and cringing every time that I had to call my doctor's office yet again because I so want to go Bitchy Broad on them but feel that I should be sugar-and-spice so that I can get my damn prescriptions.

After the call to the G.P. office, Gentleman Caller and I went out for a workout walk along the canal. If nothing else, the desire to dissipate the jittery anxious energy, focus my brain on something productive, and find some non-chemical means of mood elevation (although some chemical means were also employed), has generated lots of words and 7 workouts so far this week.

Finally -- FINALLY, fucking finally -- the phone rang. My prescriptions are waiting.

Hallelujah!

Also, about fucking time!

So, I'm off to the drug store. Relief is at hand! Life on shall resume over the next week.

Thank you, all, again.