Gym-servations

And now for something completely different: things I've observed at the gym.

Sometimes people get so caught up in their workout that they forget other people are around. I once told of a guy who started singing "MacArthur Park" while stretching out. A couple of months ago, a woman on the treadmill next to me kept clapping at various intervals. I was in a bad mood and getting annoyed by it; then, she started saying "c'mon! Let's go! Keep workin'!" quietly to herself. So, she kinda became my unwitting coach, and I wasn't so annoyed anymore. Yesterday, a guy just started singing along to his iTunes. I didn't recognize the song because I am becoming of an age at which all of the young folks' music sounds exactly alike.

Speaking of which, does the gym-MTV channel have to blare so loudly? Good god! Not everyone wants Taylor Swift as an earworm for the rest of the day! It's loud enough in there with the general machine noise and the D00dz shouting their conversations that we really don't need whatever computer enhanced, teen pop diva adding to the din. I can hardly hear my own audiobook, and the earphones are crammed in to my ear drum.

Since I am exposed to these gym-MTV channel videos, too, I have come to the conclusion that the main expression conveyed through dance these days is "I will need a chiropractor when this song is over."

Why do people think the gym equipment is living room furniture and hang out on it? Why are these people usually D00dz?

I sweat. A lot. It's genetic. The sweat naturally appears in the usual places around the neck and armpits because that is where the fabric touches your skin most often. The more I sweat, however, the more embarrassing my sweat marks become. Think of the female form. Which parts are most in contact with the clothing? Yep, breasts and crotch. I get off of the treadmill, look in the mirror, and fear they will kick me out for obscenity.

With all of my running and weight loss, I've begun to notice some ridges and valleys on my body. I believe they are called "muscles." I forgot that I had them. They make me feel tough!

After you run many miles, you can be very flexible. I'm almost back to the flexibility of my 20s. This also makes me feel tough!

I've also reached a conundrum. I am fairly addicted to running longer distances -- between 6 and 10 miles. The problem is that much running fatigues me. At some point in the week, I'm just too tired to function. Yet, if I scale back or give myself a day or two of rest, I end up feeling grumpy and blah. Perhaps I should increase the carbohydrates or protein in my diet? Not through alcohol and candy consumption, either.

Although, speaking of alcohol and candy, it is about that time of the evening, isn't it?