Good GAWD!

Dear Ladies, women, or whatever your desired designation, who use the restroom outside of my office suite,

You are disgusting! Really. I’ve been in reststops on the interstate, gas station Ladies’ Rooms, and campground latrines that are cleaner. How on earth do you pee on the floor? I grew up with brothers – nasty, disgusting brothers who only want to see snow so they can write their names in it with their urine – who had better aim from across the room. Urine? Feces? Blood? Smeared on the seat? In every stall? Regularly? Toilet paper streaming from the stall walls and all across the floor? HOW! WHY!

I understand not wanting your butt to touch the seat touched by other butts. I understand that you think the little paper liners are not enough. I understand that hovering may cause messes. Still, can you not clean up after yourselves? My nephews did a better job within the first months of their lives than you do twenty or more years in. Do you not realize that, in your efforts to avoid filth -- which is not so apparant at the beginning of the day -- you are contributing to greater levels of filth? Do you not understand about public health hazards? Jeez, aren’t some of you NURSING majors!

Some of us work here and have to use these facilities repeatedly. I absolutely cannot hold it for the 10 hours I spend on campus. Shoot, I’m THIS close to using the men’s room. At least they know how to aim!



Think of the women who have to clean up this mess, too. As if cleaning restrooms wasn't bad enough, as if cleaning public restrooms wasn't worse, you go an make the task even more disgusting, hazardous and time consuming.

Please, maintain a certain level of hygenie, clean up after yourselves. For all of our sakes!

Thank you,
Clio Bluestocking on behalf of the faculty and staff in the adjoining office suite (all of whom are certain that they will contract e-coli or some other noxious plague, regardless of how many times they wash their hands, simply by entering the restroom).